Believing

Their misunderstanding does not equal my failure.
I raised them right, I taught them, gave them the basics.

The questions are hard for me to hear,
the questions of why do we pray when I don't even believe come out of the child I taught to believe from the day she was born.
The very girl who taught me to believe the moment I found out I was going to be her Mommy.
How could this be?
I knew better, I know my daughter better, and God knows her even better than I do-
so with all sincerity I tell my girl that I know she doesn't mean that-
from the deepest of her being she knows God exists.
Earlier that same night my son was asking "What if this is like a big fake, and God isn't real?"
I felt loaded on with doubt from those I love so much, who I desire to know the same love I know in Christ.  The One who set me free years ago from all doubt.

As I cry out to God, wanting to know why!?
Thoughts began  racing through my mind about all the vacation bible schools we missed, the church services we decided to sleep through-
and as all the negative floods my weary, confused mind- I immediately know this isn't God
He doesn't teach me out of guilt.
He tells me their misunderstanding isn't your failure, it's your opportunity!
He reminds me that questions are okay,
and I pray for Him to help me with the answers.
It is in this moment I need to believe in not just Him, but also BELIEVE and hold tightly to what He can do!

"Though it Costs all you Have"

I just love when Gods word just leaps off the page and jumps straight into my heart, at the core of my understanding. Just like a light bulb,  but even clearer.

Proverbs 4:6-8, "Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Cherish her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you." (NIV) 

I was reading Proverbs 31 this morning, as part of my daily routine, and I came across this lovely verse.  In the verse the words "Though it costs all you have" stood out- I asked myself  Why would wisdom cost all you have? The next line reads- "get understanding".  

In order to understand what is wise God knows I'm gonna have to get rid of a piece of my own understanding, maybe even a huge chunk of it.  
Sometimes that feels as if I'm getting rid of a piece of me, and He knows how hard that can be. Getting past the point where I realize, that the piece of me I hold so tightly to is such a distraction from seeking Him.

But He says to me...

"Keep reading Heather--- when you cherish wisdom she will exalt you, hold onto her and she will honor you. 
It's gonna take all you have to let go and let Me, but you will understand. 
In the midst of that understanding you will be protected, and watched over without a doubt.
Remember this, and teach this to your children, for they have a lot of questions about how they will hear Me when they call."

Just a Little Stay-Cation

A few days of some much needed family relaxation, plus not too far away from home, equals just the perfect trip for us.

My hubby and I getting ready to go on Xelerator at Knotts, if it wasn't for him I could have never done it!!!  That ride is absolute craziness!!! 

Our beautiful Hotel View of the parking lot- lol 

This year Shianne got to bring a friend along, they had a blast!

The girls trying their best to copy the famous photo.

My handsome boys.  They are the greatest!!!

Picture Taken as we drove away...

Our Beautiful Lunch Spot on the Pier

The Pelican that liked to pose... 

My Blessings!!! 

One of Those Nights

Sometimes I have one of those nights... the kind of night I am really looking forward to relaxing with my coffee, and my new book to wind down from another Summer day.

And then....
well...
it turns into one of "those" nights,
the kind where I feel I will never get a moment...just a moment...as my once upon a time fresh cup of cold coffee sits next to my book, on a freshly dusted night stand.
I really didn't think this night called for iced coffee - lol.  That's just my dry sense of humor.

It all started with the words "It's time for bed" coming from this Mommy's mouth.
You may know how sometimes those words, okay well most of the time those words can be translated by children as if it were to mean "It's time to wake up", "It's time to play", "It's time to argue", oh and this nights original statement  "can I have a pork chop? , and then I promise I'll go to bed".  A pork chop? Seriously?

Could there possibly be anything else that is going to keep me from that "just one moment"?
I am now literally pleading God for it.

It is then, my son; who's birthday is the next day, comes into my room just as I'm finding my peaceful moment to say he has a growing pain.  At this point I'm really just wondering why tonight???

So as us Moms try our hardest to do, I place my frustrations aside, not wanting to get worked up anymore than I already felt before bed. I head to the medicine cabinet to retrieve the Tylenol, only to find the measuring cup for it is downstairs.

I take like my millionth deep breath of the night and head downstairs to get it.  I administer the liquid Tylenol to my almost 11 year old son who at that moment seemed to have had a whole in his lip-
yup it went right past his mouth and he was covered in sticky red medicine, and so was my carpet.

I cried out loud  "O Lord, what is it you are trying to tell me tonight"???
My son cried and said he was so sorry, I felt horrible for him because I know he certainly didn't do it on purpose, if anything he can relate to me with things going wrong at this point.  As we clean up and give him medicine all over again I console him.  I tell him it's okay, it just seems like I can't get a break tonight, but I know God is trying to show me something through it all.
I tuck him back into bed, and head downstairs to get - yet another cup of coffee to attempt to start again.

It's at this moment, God whispers in my ear about becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman, and I remember that a Proverbs 31 woman is known for rising earlier than her family, and he showed me I've sure been sleeping in a lot lately.

He reminds me Heather... you can have your moment, I know how much you need it,
but I also see how much your kids need you.
He gently gives me advice, that I may need to rearrange my schedule a bit, to make room for  the quiet moments He knows I desire, and the loving Mother He knows my children desire.
So I'll take it!!!

The chaos and all from this night- because it's in these really important moments that are worth so much more!

                                                     

Through these Blessed Years

Happy Fathers Day Video, to my husband, the man God blessed us with...

(Click On Photo Below to be directed to slideshow)

 

These are a Few of my Favorite Blogs...

I thought I'd share just a few of my favorite blog reads for this Summer, and all year long.

 I find that while things start to wind down and Summer approaches I get to snuggle up with a cup of coffee or iced tea and enjoy a nice relaxing blog-hopping morning, afternoon, or evening out on my back porch.

I do have my typical go-to's when it comes to looking at blogs-

One, is that I love some good home decor inspiration,
and Two, the biggest job I'll ever be given in my life is that of being a Mother; therefore anything encouraging me in these areas are an absolute joy to read.  I've listed 6 blogs below, that have inspired me in these ways, so you can kick back this Summer and enjoy them too!

HOME DECOR INSPIRATION:

Sadie Olive } Click on Photo to Link to Blog

Nesting Place} Click on Photo to Link to Blog

Magnolia Homes Joanna's Blog} Click on Photo to Link to Website

(This Blog is a little bit of both for me; the 2 things I love wrapped into one) 

(In) Courage} Click on Photo to Link to Blog

Lisa-Jo Baker} Click on Photo to Link to Blog

Words can't describe how much her blog has meant to me over the years.

Lysa TerKeurst} Click on photo to Link to Blog

Last but definitely not least, she has been so blessed by God to bless all of us!  

Five Minute Friday} Fear

I have the tendency to fear the worst sometimes.  I fear my daughter isn't hanging out with people who are encouraging her for the good, I fear she is too shy to plug herself into a group that does.  Looking back, I was the same way, hanging out with the crowds that seemed as if I didn't have to really get to know them, but instead just be apart of whatever it was they were doing, good or bad. That made me feel accepted, and it was the easy kind of acceptance.

There were definitely those who looked like they had it all together, morally, academically, & athletically- I had a fear of this group, in actuality it was a fear of myself not being able to measure up, and somehow thinking I'd never have it together- so instead I ended up with "so called" friendships that didn't last into my adulthood.

If only I believed in myself more, If only then I trusted God the way my parents taught me to,
I would have seen sooner than later that I was worthy of living the life I desired all along.
This fear for my daughter is the same fear I had then in myself, thank you Lord for making all things beautiful, and showing me this very morning I have the refreshing choice to trust in you in my sweet girls precious life.

Trust that I don't need to Fear for you are with us, (Isiah 41:10) and trust that you will reveal yourself in all the ways that encourage her to believe in herself, by trusting you more and more, with every passing day.

So do not fear, for I am with you; 

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous

right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

"Love lifted you...

now let love lead you to lead

others"

-Author Unknown

It's the Little Things

Deuteronomy 4:9, "Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them." (NIV) 

When I was a little girl I loved to read, write, and pretend to broadcast. Every time I would see a reporter on the television screen, I would imagine myself becoming one. 

My handwritten copyright symbol with the year written next to it, was placed on every single hand written card I would make.  

I remember how much I loved playing library, there was something about the feel and organization of books that would set my mind at ease. 

Just like that peaceful feeling I got setting up my little library, the same one comes over me while organizing my blog space, and reading all the encouraging words of so many others.

Little did I know then, that God would lead me to write a blog, and share like a reporter does all the good news He's blessed me with.

Thank you to Lysa Terkurst for your blog post today, inspiring me to not forget how God has been shaping me since I was a child, even in the smallest of ways.  Thank you for this encouragement to remember, and share my precious memories with my children. 

Breathing Room

These moments are beautiful.  These milestones have taken a trip on a windy curvy road of ups and downs.  I'd imagine life will always be this way.  My youngest, the baby of the family is on his way to middle school, and I am reminded to not just "Live" but to "Learn" as well.  There is no way to describe the challenges our children are faced with, or more so the ache we feel as they grow older, and we realize we can't fix everything.  It is then I realize that I never was able to fix everything in the first place, and that is where I have cluttered my own mind full of emotions, that cause me to cry at my sons 5th grade promotion, as if he just graduated high school, or got married.  The pressure as a Mother I've put on myself, was never one God intended me to bear.

I watched a sermon today by Andy Stanley which got me thinking about this very day, and the days ahead.  In the sermon was the quote:

"Our Fear of not mattering 

has the potential to draw us away 

from what matters most" 

My eyes were opened when I read this!  So much... I had to read slowly again...

"Our Fear of not mattering 

has the potential to draw us away 

from what matters most" 

And Again...

"Our Fear of not mattering 

has the potential to draw us away 

from what matters most" 

That is in fact what I've been chasing, a fear of not mattering, and it's blinded me from seeing what is right in front of me, and being able to just live in every single precious-moment, that God has blessed me with. 

The day of my youngest sons 5th grade promotion, I balled my eyes out, I just couldn't control it, this was before the ceremony even began, the music played and I just utterly and completely lost it.  As the tears streamed down my face, while I tried with all my might to keep them hidden so no one would see, I was thinking in that very moment, that this was somehow my last chance, and I hope that in the first phase of his life I got it right, that I taught him all he needs to know to go into middle school and then high school.  Knowing at his tender age I wouldn't be given another chance, and all 3 of my kids growing up entirely way too fast for my poor heart to handle ran through my mind.  The realization of how quickly that happens was a lot to take in.  It crossed my mind "Do I matter to them? Have I made a difference? Will I know how to make a difference?"  In that moment I was overwhelmed with fear, a fear that any Mother who has seen first hand what kinds of things adolescents struggle with, the scary influences of the outside world, and I felt so afraid.  So afraid, I could barely breath.  

In that same sermon that I watched this morning, I was given some homework.  The homework was to answer one question "Where do you need some Breathing Room?"

I guess this blog post is my way of completing that assignment, and realizing I need breathing room from feeling the pressure as a Mom, and to put my trust in the God who entrusted these three unique precious children to me.  I was never meant to feel this pressure, I need to fully trust God throughout the journey of the winding, twisting, curvy, uphill and downhill roads of this life.

I choose to see all of these turns as beautiful moments of my life, taking all these moments in, and giving myself the room I need to Breathe, and draw nearer to what matters the most.

Trusting that God knows what each member of my family (myself included) needs and desires, and it's knowing this that I am given the Breathing Room I need.