Day 31} A Lot Learned

First of all I cannot believe this is my last post in the 31 days series.
Let me just say I am amazed that I actually kept it up.
I will also say I am so happy I did.
Happy doesn't even touch what I've learned about being a Mother in these last 31 days, and the fears that come along with it.
Mothers try their hardest, and many times they are afraid, like me.
From the day these bundles of joy show up into our little world we feel such a overwhelming sense of responsibility.  
It goes on for a long time- we put so much on ourselves with all the "I wish I would haves" and the "I shouldn't haves" until we really accept that we are human beings- 
the fact that you and I make mistakes is what makes us so human, and so real.
The fact that we feel at a loss sometimes,  pulls us towards our ever loving Savior; 
who I've learned Never Let's Go.

Let me just tell you, that as an adult I still have heard my Mother regret past mistakes, my Father too- 
I have to say I know now how easy it is to make those mistakes out of fear for that precious bundle of joy you carry so close to your heart; 
I was theirs- and I understand.  

The key is I have watched my parents learn from those mistakes and because of it; I have instilled in me bits of their learned wisdom.
"And we know that in All things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
And we were all placed on this earth for His purpose.

The relationship I share with my Mother now is so different from the one we had when I was an adolescent.  I didn't want her love, I'm sure deep down I did, but I refused it- because I thought I knew it all.
It took me becoming a Mother myself to truly know how deeply she cared and loved me that whole time I shut her out of my life.  
She was so frustrated with my choices (understandably),
but there is one thing through this frustration that she never did-
She never stopped praying,
and she never stopped loving me.
The day I realized what the rejection I gave to her must have felt like 
is the day I knew she was a vital part in my life and I treasure our relationship.
Her example through the years have meant so much to me;
one day maybe I'll be able to put it into the words that are sitting at the tip of my tongue.

This has been an amazing 31 day journey; just learning how to open up and allow God to show me how I've felt about parts of my story, my prayer is that God has allowed this journey of mine to touch the peoples lives that He meant for it to.  
He has placed in me a desire to encourage others through the testimony I have kept hidden for so long, because I have been blessed by so many others who were once afraid too, and God planted in them that same desire, 
and with that desire they've obeyed, 
and they've shared, 
and because of them 
I call my life blessed! 

Thank you so much Nesting Place for Hosting! 

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Day} 30 -Great Verses for Mamas

"He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not grow faint."

Isaiah 40: 29-31

"So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous

right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

"For I am the Lord, your God,

who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you."

Isaiah 41:13  

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Day 29} Don't Forget to Look for the Moments

"We will talk about it tomorrow"! I said hastily after my 12 year old daughter seemed to be stalling her bedtime. 
 I spent my time talking, laughing, and saying my good nights- hugs - the whole 9 yards!- And then a subject came up about the next days last minute planning, that just made me a little frustrated.
Frustrated because I didn't know if I would be able to get her to her schools carnival earlier as requested; due to the cookie party we have already committed to in our neighborhood. 
My girl is smart 
she hit the nail on the head when she said
"Mom you look tense; relax your shoulders, your shoulders look really stiff--- here--- do you need a shoulder rub"?
Out of the quickness in the moment I said "No- what you need to do is get in bed; then I can actually get in bed, we have a lot to try to figure out- We will talk about it tomorrow!"
I walked away feeling like I just erased all the special time we had before this last minute change to our schedule occured.  

I took a deep breath;
only no deep breath was enough to calm my nerves,
and my sweet daughter noticed that.

Still feeling tense I washed my face and thought about what had actually just happened.
One of my fears has been that my children's' world would revolve around themselves; and not ever take a minute to see the other side.  
So many people are so selfish these days, that they don't even take a minute to notice what they say; 
or be ready to forgive when someone answers them harshly- 
to see beyond the "quick to speak" spewed words- 
and into the heart of why they came out that way.
I've always thought; how in the world do I teach my children this?   

This is when I see God answer my prayers; when He intervenes through my children- 
as a Mother;
those are by far the most beautiful and treasured moments.

I wrung out my washcloth took a deep breath; this time breathing in the breath of Christ; and feeling ever so grateful for the heart my daughter displayed for me.  
She happened to have got out of her bed to brush her hair, I walked into her bathroom, looked her in the eye, and said "Thank you" she smiled a smile so kind.

I said "I just want you to know that what you did when you saw me feeling tense; was one of the sweetest things a person could ever do; and I am sorry that I wasn't ready to respond to that like I should have.  I really appreciate your thoughtfulness, Thank you so much sweetie". 
She looked at me and said "Here"
as she placed her arms on my shoulder; and took that tension right out.

Sometimes we as Mothers get so caught up in the busyness of our day; 
or the day to come 
that we forget to look for the moments we fear, and pray about, to see just exactly what God is doing in our children's lives.

So starting tonight; lets make ourselves more aware of God in the midst of it all.
Instead of being so afraid of where our children could be headed,
watch closely...
and focus on where God has already brought them. 

Matthew 6: 34

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of it's own"

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Day 28} Musical Sunday

This song is so funny!!! Completely Relatable; and- well- very true!  "In the middle of my little mess I  forget how BIG I'm blessed" - Think about it. ;)

Happy Sunday!

Day 27} Inspirational Writing by Charles Stanley

Providing for your children

The following is out of a book by Charles Stanley "How to Keep your kids on your team" ...

"My Mother has said to me, "I regret that I couldn't give you the things other parents gave to their children." And I have answered her, "Mom you have nothing to regret. You gave me something that is not for sale in any store, has never been manufactured, and cannot be purchased anywhere. You planted within me a love for God, a desire to be obedient, a desire to be willing to stand, regardless of other peoples opinions or attitudes, to do what is right. You taught me to depend upon God for everything. You taught me how to pray. You taught me to trust God as my faithful Father." I would rather have my meager possessions as a child - two pairs of bib overalls, one pair of shoes, a couple of pairs of socks , some underwear , a toothbrush, and a comb combined with what my mom taught me- than all the wealth the world can offer."
It is not how many things you provide for your children. It is what you give them of yourself and the principles of Scripture that can never be taken away. If you are a good provider, you will keep your children on your team and will establish a firm foundation for them as adults."

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Day 26} Five Minute Friday on Saturday "Voice"

The year my voice was silenced I'll never forget.  It's been a journey for me for years now praying for my voice to return in His timing.  Through the years I've become content knowing it is on hold for His purpose.

God blessed me with a singing voice at a young age; A few times I sang for for my church when I was a young girl.  I will never forget when my Aunt Heidi took me to audition for our worship band when I was in High School.  I was singing for all the wrong reasons and on that stage I felt it; needless to say I was not picked; my voice for singing at church was silenced.  

My life took many turns after that through young adulthood; turns that I fell on my knees one day and knew I needed desperately to seek Gods grace.  He provided.

My relationship with God has grown so much stronger over the years; that I've developed a true sense of what it really means to worship Him.  
I have a desire to worship; God just hasn't showed me what He wants me to do with my voice yet; well actually He has...
He's shown me to sing for Him; 
just Him and I- 
and the beauty in those moments of song whether at home or in my car are enough, 
because He's changing me- 
He makes me see things I never saw before in using my voice for Him only.
Not for fame, not for attention, not for comments, but instead
Becoming Genuine.  
He's the best vocal coach EVER! 

I'm also participating in 31 Days through Nesting Place; as part of the series I'd like to dedicate this one to my children; 

No matter what dreams or desires you have in your life
God is the best coach EVER!  He provided you with gifts, 
He is more than able to show you what to do with them.
He wants you to use these gifts for His will;
He will make your heart content
no matter where your dream takes you.

Now it's your turn click here to participate, or just to read some beautiful entries based on one word.

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Day 25} "I Want You to Know what I Didn't Know"

So desperately
I want you to know.
My Mama heart aches for it to sink deep within your precious hearts.
I want you to know what I didn't know.

True acceptance is not found in your friends or your popularity status;
it is found in the acceptance we've had since we were placed on this earth by our Heavenly Father.
Yes People are mean, you will think that is normal, 
and will find yourself either hiding away from the mean people like I did and looking like a complete outcast; or find yourself at some time in your life trying mean out so you can fit in- (Okay I've tried them both)

I pray you will stand out among the mean.

I pray you will make a difference that this world doesn't see much of these days.
This world needs YOU, you don't know that yet; but I want you to know.
God wants you to know.
You are a light in this dark world because He's provided this very light, in your very heart! 
I promise! 
Please don't let that go to waste; this light He's provided is precious!

So shine like the very stars He created; because He's created you to shine like those very stars you see every night in our dark sky.
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Day 24} Just another Quote Day

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Day 23} The Dreaded Internet

Today we have I-Phones, I-Pods, I-pads, Kindles with Internet access, the list goes on and on.  

Yes the creativity that goes into all these" I- things" is extremely amazing!
For children; I have to second guess whether or not it is okay for them on several levels.  Or sometimes; even us as adults.

First- notice most these devices begin with "I"; 
I find it funny that all these gadgets create such an element of self absorption everywhere.  People now can stare at a screen for hours, not have any real conversations with people face to face, ignore family members, stare at their phones while out to lunch or dinner with their best friends.  
Why is it so hard to put these things down? 
We are now stressing ourselves out as a nation thinking we must always be checking on something.  Me included.  If you don't agree; spend a day looking around you- you'll see it.  
You might even notice yourself doing it.

What is happening to families because of this?   

There are less conversations in the carpool lane with our older children; because we become too busy checking our messages.  
There are less conversations at home because everyone in the house is looking at some sort of device instead of just being together.  
The average household has more than one computer; usually one for the kids & one for the parents, and sometimes they are placed in kids bedrooms.  

Am I the only one that is scared of the access my children have to the internet?

Even if I set limitations and watch them like Hawks while they are on it- I now have to worry about the guards their friends have regarding this.  These days kids watch You Tube videos at school during their lunch break, at youth group and sometimes just playing outside.

It feels like it consumes us sometimes; and it is sad.  

So how do we avoid this?  "Lord Help Me" is how.

Help me to remember why we were placed here on this earth.

Remind me to get my priorities straight according to your word.

Remind me to impress these priorities on my children.

Show me how I can safeguard them from the things of this world, so the world doesn't wash my children away.  

Teach me how to teach them how to be social in such a "techie" day of age.

I have to share with you that in our household we had our first internet scare over the Summer; our daughter was on You Tube; which we don't allow- but it happened.  
If you don't know, you tube doesn't have restrictions; I take that back- It does- but their restrictions are not the kind us parents can count on.  In a matter of seconds our daughter was looking for a popular song and was exposed to soft porn; and well lets just say because it was considered soft porn there were no restrictions!

This kind of term for pornography these days is just ridiculous; there was absolutely NOTHING in this that is or ever will be appropriate for a 12 year old; not even an adult!
You have to know-
This is accessible to our children when they have internet access on anything.
Even I-Tunes; every song with explicit lyrics is easily accessible to our sweet children.
And we wonder why our kids are growing up so fast, and so desensitized to what is clearly wrong.

I'm sharing this with you to be on your toes, no matter how many locks are put on your computers- you cannot count on them 100%; parents still have to be parents, and know what your kids are watching,
and what your kids friends are watching- we have to talk to them.  

We have to set an example; by stepping away from our own devices; because our children are exposed to so much more than we ever were- there are plenty of discussions to be had because of it.

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Day 22} Fear in the Little Moments

It was our first cool day in months; not just cool but chilly with scatters of rain drops come and gone.  The pavement on the street out my window was darkened with the wetness from the partly cloudy sky.  It was also a great day for kids and friends to play outside wearing their sweaters and jeans for the first time since late last spring.

It also seemed to make for a fabulous day for 2 little boys to write love letters to their girlfriends!
Huh???
I'm dead serious!

Since when did my 8 year old, and his six year old friend have girlfriends?

Their cute little faces came from outside to tell me they were too cold to play outside-
they were asking if they could come in to write letters.
"Oh that's cute" I said as I went to find them some notebook paper.
They clutched their pieces of notebook paper so eagerly and ran downstairs on a mission.
It was so quiet downstairs that I eagerly went to check on them two; just to see what they were doing.
Two boys at a kitchen table were so deep in thought; scratched off wording on their papers- red pens in hand; completely perplexed.

"We're writing a letter to our girlfriends!!!" they said with the biggest most sweetest smiles you ever did see.  "Oh MY!!!" my husband and I said as we looked at each other.
Now we were completely perplexed!

Later; after his friend had went home to have his Mother approve his letter- I went over my sons letter with him.

It was completely and utterly adorable;
however it was also in need of a lot of parental direction;
the last thing I wanted was for some sweet Mommy to get upset with our son-
I know this-
I have a daughter; and I've been on the end of her receiving notes-
and now it was my turn to be on the end of my son giving notes.
Oh how I knew this day would come- Ay Yai Yai

Though, I do have to tell you about the creativity of my sons cute little letter
It was adorable;

It was folded in 3's; with my son's cute penmanship written on it in red ink.

It read:

To: Ally (by the way his friend was writting his letter to a girl named "Callie"- how cute is that!?)

There was a red Bic pen taped carefully to the front cover with an arrow pointing to it saying "Your going to need this".

Melting already?

I was.

Then I opened it up kind of excited and scared about what I'd see inside, because I wasn't prepared to break his heart if any of it needed to be changed,  it didn't help that he was smiling so big as I read it.

It read

"Dear, Ally I wanted to tell you that you keep On Stealing my hat.  Also that is why I think you like me.  Also I think you are really nice too So I think taht you can be my girlfriend. I will ask you one very important qustion"

 CUT!!! > KNOWING A QUESTION WAS COMING I WAS SO NERVOUS AS HIS MOMMY AS TO WHAT IT WAS GOING TO BE

"Ally will you mary me?? Pick yes or no?"

and in huge letters it says YES or NO

"P.S. if you picked yes than that will change my life forever"

"P.P.S. if you picked no than I will go home crying!"


Oh No- I might just break my boys heart before she can when I have to give him a 3rd grade version of what marriage is- how old you should be, and how her parents wouldn't possibally allow their 8 year old daughter to get married, neither would I let my son get married, and not to mention it's not legal.

Plus I knew I had to have this conversation with my son in a way that would not set the stage for him to hide things from me as he grows older.

I love how open he is to share everything with me; includng this girl at school he likes so much.

Sometimes Fear in these little moments is good.

This fear gets us thinking things through, and praying that the right timing and words will be used in such a tiny situation so as to not make any rash comments.  Rash comments have the ability to make a small situation much bigger than it ever needs to be.

My little boy and I had such an awesome conversation brought about by this letter.

I assured him that his writing was so creative, and one day when he is old enough to ask a young woman a question like that; He will know she loves Jesus with all her heart- so that she can love him with all of hers.

He will have an opportunity to ask permission from her Dad to marry her.

This shocked him- he had no idea this was part of it. We giggled about this for quite some time.

I also got to teach him that one day when he is old enough and finds that special someone; making someone feel guilty is never part of love- and that his worth is found in Jesus Christ; not in whether or not a person says yes to you, that Jesus will change his life forever- and then He will find just the right Jesus Loving Bride for my sons precious soul.

He just looked at me and with so much trust said-  "Okay Mom".

Thank God for being in the little details; that turn into big things, in a good way!

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Day 21} Musical Sunday

Saw Carrie Underwood last night in concert; she was amazing!!!

And this song is a song I completely relate to; to hear it last night live was awesome!  Listening to thousands of people belting out Jesus Take the Wheel was quite an experience!

My review:

Definitely one of those voices with a ginormous powerhouse,

there is no way a recording could ever capture where her voice actually goes!

She is way better live, super sweet, and FULL OF ENERGY!

Loved It!

Not the best quality photo; but it's the best I could get of our fun night!

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Day 20} Love Always Perseveres

 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres".

Love always perseveres; means it never  gives up.  

It never loses sight of its purpose.

It keeps going strong no matter what bumps in the road get in the way.

 

It is constant; it sees beyond those bumps and into Gods glory.

This goes not only for my children; but my husband first and foremost.

I was involved in a conversation regarding marriage, and how people change into other people, resulting in one day down the road it just not working out anymore.  

The problem with that is we are all so prone to the feeling of being in love all the time; and that's just not realistic.

It is possible to grow different, and grow together in your differences; because "Love Perseveres".  If you compare that to a relationship with your children; there are going to be times you will experience a changed child; sometimes you don't like what you see, or the direction they are headed in; but you persevere - and continue to Love them anyway.

If it is so easy to Love my children this way with no if's and's or but's; then how much more am I called to Love my husband this way; even more so- because our Love for each other is to be the solid headship of our family.  

Human Love isn't perfect; that is why Love always Perseveres.  This kind of Love isn't Fearful of changes in the future; because it knows that no mater what you'll grow together; through it all! 

LOVE NEVER GIVES UP.

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Day 19} Five Minute Friday [Look]

 Look at Hope.
Hope looks like a rainbow after a sad storm.
Hope looks like a slight smile after the tears have fallen.
Hope looks like understanding; when you didn't think they did.
Hope looks like happiness in the now; looking ahead in Gods direction.
Hope is strong
Hope is steady
Hope is secure
Hope is a safe place away from the rush of the day

 
Hope is what a Mother has for her children as they frolic about without a care in the world.
Hope is the song I heard today in the car with my kiddos in tow
The song that filled my welled up eyes with joy as; I sang it to my bright eyed baby girl when it first came out; she was 3 months old.  
That was almost 13 years ago.
The same song that filled our car with beauty on the day we brought each of our boys home from the delivery room
I Hope You Dance!

To Look at Hope;
is to see Jesus in the lives of those who have touched your heart.
 To Look at Hope is to Hope in  the only one who makes it possible.
Love Always Hopes!

 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres".
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Now it's your turn click here to participate, or just to read some beautiful entries based on one word.

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Day 18 } Love Always Trusts

 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres".

Today... just a great quote I found on Pinterest.

I've got a fabulous weekend ahead; going to see Carrie Underwood in concert on Saturday; with 2 new friends of mine.  Girl Time is always good for the soul!

***EEEEKKKK*** 

SO EXCITED!

 

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Day 17} Love Always Protects

 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres". 

Love always Protects

 Love always protects, 

and it's not always easy. 

  Protecting your children from harmful things when they just don't get it actually hurts.  

It is hard to see your child not understand why they can't do the same things the parents of their friends allow their kids to do.  

But guess what?

Gods Word says...

"Love always Protects"

so as a Mother;

this is something I will always do.

Whether that makes me popular or not.

As parents we are not here on this earth to teach our children to please the world-

but instead something much much grander than that-

Pleasing their Creator; the one who created them with a specific purpose in mind-

The Father above

who will Love them more than the world ever could, or ever will.  

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Day 16} How Do We Discipline out of Love?

 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres". 

Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

 In our discipline; we as parents need to ensure that our discipline is purely out of Love and not out of spite.  So we can rejoice in what the right kind of discipline teaches our children.

How do we discipline out of Love? 

 * We block out the thought of; "They deserved it"; because then we are disciplining out of spite; not love.      

* We focus on correction and redirection; instead of control.  

* Our ultimate desire is for "their" good, not ours.  

* We seek Gods advice in His word when we feel as if we are ready to just blurt out some ridiculous consequence out of anger.  

*  We take the time to teach them what value or moral they seem to be struggling with. Not in a "I told you so" kind of way.  

*  No matter what; our discipline towards our children should always display that we Love them, and that Love can never be erased.  

*  Keep a close guard on our words while teaching them Gods truth- if we're teaching them God's advice; it is our job to administer it to them in a Christ-Like way.  Do not use his name to make our children feel guilty- what will that ultimately teach them in the long run?    

*  No Matter What- Our discipline should display that Jesus Loves them; even through the hard times, and that His Love can never be erased.

I would love to hear more; any good advice out there?  

Leave a comment below; I'd love to hear your thoughts! :)

Day 1 - When Fear Sets In
Day 2-  It's Not Personal
Day 3- The Fear of Your Past
Day 4- Planning Ahead

Day 5- Fear of them Growing up too Fast 

Day 6- When God uses your Fears

Day 7- A Quote on Motherhood

Day 8- Love is Patient

 Day 9- When Your Heart is Heavy

 Day 10- The Fear of Not Measuring Up

Day 11- Anything that Holds us Back is Fear

Day 12- Love is Not Rude
Day 13 & Day 14-  Love Is...
Day 15- Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs
Day 16- How Do we Discipline out of Love?
Day 17- Day 18- Day 19- Day 20- Day 21- Day 22- Day 23- Day 24- Day 24- Day 25- Day 26- Day 27- Day 28- Day 29- Day 30- Day 31-

Day 15} Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs

 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres". 

Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs.

God is our example- my sins have been washed white as snow; 

no longer are my sins aloud to haunt me, tell me I'm less than, or discourage me from a brighter future.  

That's what my Jesus did- 

He took it all with Him on that cross, even though I didn't at all deserve it.  

But you know what?  

He loved me enough to think so.

As such a phenomenal example He is for me, applying this to Motherhood paints a beautiful picture in my heart. 

I feel the peace at extending this same love out to my three children; 

There are times I don't believe they deserve my kindness; but I Love them enough to know that they most certainly do. 

There are times when I catch myself lingering their past mistakes over their sweet little heads; but I Love them enough to know I should be encouraging them towards a brighter future.  Therefore I will choose to hold tight to my Fathers hand, pay real close attention to His example-

and watch Him continue to lead us into something beautiful.  

 

Day 1 - When Fear Sets In
Day 2-  It's Not Personal
Day 3- The Fear of Your Past
Day 4- Planning Ahead

Day 5- Fear of them Growing up too Fast 

Day 6- When God uses your Fears

Day 7- A Quote on Motherhood

Day 8- Love is Patient

 Day 9- When Your Heart is Heavy

 Day 10- The Fear of Not Measuring Up

Day 11- Anything that Holds us Back is Fear

Day 12- Love is Not Rude
Day 13 & Day 14-  Love Is...
Day 15- Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs
Day 16- Day 17- Day 18- Day 19- Day 20- Day 21- Day 22- Day 23- Day 24- Day 24- Day 25- Day 26- Day 27- Day 28- Day 29- Day 30- Day 31-