Saturday, October 6, 2012

Day 6} When God uses your Fears to Protect your Children

My middle school years were rough.  They didn't end there though; they continued to be rough through high school and my early adult years.  I felt every insecurity imaginable I was never much comfortable in my own skin.  
I cared so much about other girls- their popularity- their good fashion sense- the fact they had no freckles; the list goes on and on.  
Those were the years I lost my childhood best friend; painfully accepting the fact she found new ones; 
and they- 
to me-
had it all together- 
and I never would.  
No matter what I was told about not worrying about what others thought- for me it was impossible- I blocked all those positive voices out of my head.  I really felt nobody understood, and that those positive voices in some way were lying to me- because they just didn't get it!  They didn't get how I felt.

I tried everything to fit in- obnoxiously being the center of attention, experimenting with things I knew were wrong, walking around with the ugliest teenager looks; thinking that would make them think I was cool.  I would sit in hallways crouched in a corner wearing a flannel shirt on a hot day; thinking depression looked appealing.  I spent years chasing someone I didn't know; just trying to find my place in the midst of it all.
It was tough!

As a Mother of a 7th grade daughter I do almost anything imaginable to protect her from it all.  
I've tried  different schools- which I know isn't always the best for kids- but for her it was necessary.
As a Mother you sometimes have to do things that the "they" people don't recommend, because you know what she needs- better than they do.  
Sometimes it's based on "your" past experience-
Mine was.
I painfully watched my daughter go through a state of depression her 6th grade year; she suffered anxiety about the fact she would have to return there for 7th grade.  
As a Mother I never wanted to have her switch schools in her Middle School years- 
I knew that middle school is rough no matter where you go; private or public school.  
The last thing I ever wanted was for her to get the message that when things get rough you leave; but at the same time I remembered being her- and I saw the plea in her eyes; begging me to understand she would never thrive in this school; she felt so defeated to the point that at her age; she wouldn't be able to pull herself out of it- those positive voices would feel like lies to her; the same way they felt to me when I was her age.
This was a time for me to prayerfully help her- and God opened doors.

There were two openings at a Charter School in our city;where she would attend two and a half school days - and 2 home school days.  Here is where fear sets in again- I've never home schooled  my children before; could we do this?
We applied, despite my fears; and she got accepted!  

It has been wonderful; those two days she's home I get to see her heart more, talk with her more about her trials; see where she's struggling and really earnestly seek coaching her through this thing called life.
We don't always have good days; sometimes we get a little grumpy with each other; but those end up our opportunities to work for our relationship- and it's been beautiful!
I'm seeing her at her school have an opportunity to be a part of ASB, and represent her 7th grade class, make announcements to students- and all in all come home everyday from her school site days smiling like she just got done with the best day of camp!!!  
This was the right choice- and sometimes you just have to block out those outside voices
and zoom in to only Gods'.
It is okay to have fears -as long as we take them to God- He'll turn them into something beautiful- 
We must not forget
He is the one thing that will always be bigger than them!

 31 Days of Fear Free Mothering:
Day 1 - When Fear Sets In
Day 2-  It's Not Personal 
Day 3- The Fear of Your Past
Day 4- Planning Ahead

Day 5- Fear of them Growing up too Fast 
Day 6- When God uses your Fears
Day 7- Day 8- Day 9- Day 10- Day 11- Day 12- Day 13- Day 14- Day 15- Day 16- Day 17- Day 18- Day 19- Day 20- Day 21- Day 22- Day 23- Day 24- Day 24- Day 25- Day 26- Day 27- Day 28- Day 29- Day 30- Day 31-


  1. oh boy, how we want to protect them. my middle daughter is 5 going on 15 and already i see her baulk under peer pressure!!

    my eldest has sms and that brings out crazy protecting needs.

    hugs and well done for following your gut on how to help your daughter, she is lucky to have you xx

    1. Thank you Jane! I just got caught up on your blog; you are an awesome artist!!! My favorite was your butterfly; and the story that went along with it! We as mamas try our very best- crazy protective needs is right! You have so much love for others- your children are beyond blessed to call you Mum. :)