Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Their misunderstanding does not equal my failure.
I raised them right, I taught them, gave them the basics.
The questions are hard for me to hear,
the questions of why do we pray when I don't even believe come out of the child I taught to believe from the day she was born.
The very girl who taught me to believe the moment I found out I was going to be her Mommy.
How could this be?
I knew better, I know my daughter better, and God knows her even better than I do-
so with all sincerity I tell my girl that I know she doesn't mean that-
from the deepest of her being she knows God exists.
Earlier that same night my son was asking "What if this is like a big fake, and God isn't real?"
I felt loaded on with doubt from those I love so much, who I desire to know the same love I know in Christ. The One who set me free years ago from all doubt.
As I cry out to God, wanting to know why!?
Thoughts began racing through my mind about all the vacation bible schools we missed, the church services we decided to sleep through-
and as all the negative floods my weary, confused mind- I immediately know this isn't God
He doesn't teach me out of guilt.
He tells me their misunderstanding isn't your failure, it's your opportunity!
He reminds me that questions are okay,
and I pray for Him to help me with the answers.
It is in this moment I need to believe in not just Him, but also BELIEVE and hold tightly to what He can do!
Thursday, July 9, 2015
I just love when Gods word just leaps off the page and jumps straight into my heart, at the core of my understanding. Just like a light bulb, but even clearer.
Proverbs 4:6-8, "Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Cherish her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you." (NIV)
I was reading Proverbs 31 this morning, as part of my daily routine, and I came across this lovely verse. In the verse the words "Though it costs all you have" stood out- I asked myself Why would wisdom cost all you have? The next line reads- "get understanding".
In order to understand what is wise God knows I'm gonna have to get rid of a piece of my own understanding, maybe even a huge chunk of it.
Sometimes that feels as if I'm getting rid of a piece of me, and He knows how hard that can be. Getting past the point where I realize, that the piece of me I hold so tightly to is such a distraction from seeking Him.
But He says to me...
"Keep reading Heather--- when you cherish wisdom she will exalt you, hold onto her and she will honor you.
It's gonna take all you have to let go and let Me, but you will understand.
In the midst of that understanding you will be protected, and watched over without a doubt.
Remember this, and teach this to your children, for they have a lot of questions about how they will hear Me when they call."
Friday, July 3, 2015
A few days of some much needed family relaxation, plus not too far away from home, equals just the perfect trip for us.
My hubby and I getting ready to go on Xelerator at Knotts, if it wasn't for him I could have never done it!!! That ride is absolute craziness!!!
Our beautiful Hotel View of the parking lot- lol
This year Shianne got to bring a friend along, they had a blast!
The girls trying their best to copy the famous photo.
My handsome boys. They are the greatest!!!
Picture Taken as we drove away...
Our Beautiful Lunch Spot on the Pier
The Pelican that liked to pose...
Thursday, June 25, 2015
it turns into one of "those" nights,
the kind where I feel I will never get a moment...just a moment...as my once upon a time fresh cup of cold coffee sits next to my book, on a freshly dusted night stand.
I really didn't think this night called for iced coffee - lol. That's just my dry sense of humor.
It all started with the words "It's time for bed" coming from this Mommy's mouth.
You may know how sometimes those words, okay well most of the time those words can be translated by children as if it were to mean "It's time to wake up", "It's time to play", "It's time to argue", oh and this nights original statement "can I have a pork chop? , and then I promise I'll go to bed". A pork chop? Seriously?
Could there possibly be anything else that is going to keep me from that "just one moment"?
I am now literally pleading God for it.
It is then, my son; who's birthday is the next day, comes into my room just as I'm finding my peaceful moment to say he has a growing pain. At this point I'm really just wondering why tonight???
So as us Moms try our hardest to do, I place my frustrations aside, not wanting to get worked up anymore than I already felt before bed. I head to the medicine cabinet to retrieve the Tylenol, only to find the measuring cup for it is downstairs.
I take like my millionth deep breath of the night and head downstairs to get it. I administer the liquid Tylenol to my almost 11 year old son who at that moment seemed to have had a whole in his lip-
yup it went right past his mouth and he was covered in sticky red medicine, and so was my carpet.
I cried out loud "O Lord, what is it you are trying to tell me tonight"???
My son cried and said he was so sorry, I felt horrible for him because I know he certainly didn't do it on purpose, if anything he can relate to me with things going wrong at this point. As we clean up and give him medicine all over again I console him. I tell him it's okay, it just seems like I can't get a break tonight, but I know God is trying to show me something through it all.
I tuck him back into bed, and head downstairs to get - yet another cup of coffee to attempt to start again.
It's at this moment, God whispers in my ear about becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman, and I remember that a Proverbs 31 woman is known for rising earlier than her family, and he showed me I've sure been sleeping in a lot lately.
He reminds me Heather... you can have your moment, I know how much you need it,
but I also see how much your kids need you.
He gently gives me advice, that I may need to rearrange my schedule a bit, to make room for the quiet moments He knows I desire, and the loving Mother He knows my children desire.
So I'll take it!!!
The chaos and all from this night- because it's in these really important moments that are worth so much more!