Believing

Their misunderstanding does not equal my failure.
I raised them right, I taught them, gave them the basics.

The questions are hard for me to hear,
the questions of why do we pray when I don't even believe come out of the child I taught to believe from the day she was born.
The very girl who taught me to believe the moment I found out I was going to be her Mommy.
How could this be?
I knew better, I know my daughter better, and God knows her even better than I do-
so with all sincerity I tell my girl that I know she doesn't mean that-
from the deepest of her being she knows God exists.
Earlier that same night my son was asking "What if this is like a big fake, and God isn't real?"
I felt loaded on with doubt from those I love so much, who I desire to know the same love I know in Christ.  The One who set me free years ago from all doubt.

As I cry out to God, wanting to know why!?
Thoughts began  racing through my mind about all the vacation bible schools we missed, the church services we decided to sleep through-
and as all the negative floods my weary, confused mind- I immediately know this isn't God
He doesn't teach me out of guilt.
He tells me their misunderstanding isn't your failure, it's your opportunity!
He reminds me that questions are okay,
and I pray for Him to help me with the answers.
It is in this moment I need to believe in not just Him, but also BELIEVE and hold tightly to what He can do!