Sunday, July 31, 2011

An Aunt who is just like a Mother to me...

While I have an amazing Mother; I have to say I have an amazing second Mama-
my Aunt Heidi.
She was the Aunt that loved to do my hair, let me wear her wedding dress for fun, play with beautiful decorative hats, was never afraid to get messy with crafts.
I will always remember her interest, and I mean genuine interest in watching every single show, dance, song, and play that my cousins and I worked so hard to create, and she always knew how hard we worked- because she was always there watching.
I swear she never lost interest or ever had anything better to do; she gave every childs' deep wish "undivided attention". She always payed such special attention to my sister and I even before her very own children; (my sweet cousins) were born.
She loved everything I did- down to the way I danced, the way I sang, every single piece of me- and I knew that!
What an amazing gift to have an Aunt like her. She gave me the nickname Heather Feather; and still calls me that to this day; I could just hear her voice saying my nickname even though we are miles apart.

I didn't always see her this way- I hit the age of adolescents, and things changed; while she was still the Aunt (like a Mother) I all of a sudden pulled away from the Aunt who cared so deeply about me.
She never changed... however...I did- I changed my view of her to work around my lifestyle and make the things I was doing or thinking about seem okay; all of a sudden I just didn't go to her anymore the way I once did as a little girl.
Why Exactly?
Well lets just say God gave her a strong gift of discernment- and I knew whatever I did she would soooo find out.
Back then I thought that was a bad thing- I thought she was an enemy holding me back from the things I wanted to do -
so I just flat out didn't communicate with her anymore.
How sad... that entire time she just loved me while I pushed away and turned all her bold comments that she made to me into thinking she was just being mean.
Those bold comments were truth- and I see that now, I just didn't like what I heard because I knew I was wrong.
When I take a look back she cared so much for me and was never going to give up.
It is people like her, and my actual birth Mother that brought me to where I am today. With all their prayers- never ceasing
Not just her and my Mother, but my daughters life as well...
my daughter was Gods gift to me.
A beautiful instrument to place me back in the loving arms of my Savior.
I was faced with having a child out of wedlock, and becoming a single Mother. The first person I turned to was my first love- Jesus Christ.
After all those years wanting to do things my way I remembered Him and His love for me. I will never forget that night I cried out to Him, when he forgave me- showed me that "I should not fear, because He is with me & He will uphold me with His righteous right hand", & not just mine, but my daughters as well.
I will never forget it- I felt His hand- and I still feel it when I am afraid-
He will never let go- He made a promise and I believe His promise, because He has literally turned my life around-
I'm telling you- Night and Day!
Back to my Beautiful Aunt Heidi; I am so thankful for her, and her continuous prayers over my life- never ceasing.
The enemy was never her,
it was the real enemy who wanted to distort my thinking-
and now God has given me the wisdom to see My Aunt Heidi's discernment as a gift to be admired and taken to heart,
because my Aunt Heidi has a heart of Gold and I love her to pieces.

1 comment:

  1. Heather Feather....Oh my goodness I am so emotional right this moment and so caught off guard as I logged on to your blog today. You are the amazing one!I look back on those days as such a gift from the Lord to have you and your sister in my life almost daily. You felt like you were my own. I know the Lord purposed this for a reason that I could not see at the time, by not knowing it would be quite a while until I was able to have children of my own. I look back on those days with pure joy in my heart! With the exception of that "gift" He insisted on giving me "discernment". I felt at times that it was a burden that He chose me to bare, and no it did not always make me the popular one as you got older. Now in hearing from your heart I can make peace with this gift He so graciously gave me, knowing that He says "He will use all things to the good". I have now figured it was not at all about me, it was about Him! He had huge plans for your life that the enemy only wanted to destroy. But praise God we know who the Victor is in the end!You have turned into a beautiful women of God,He gave your mom this promise and He was faithful to complete it! I have to continue to stand on these Truths for my children, believing that someday soon they will both come back to the Truth and no longer be deceived by the enemies lies. I guess there may be somebody waiting in the wings with this same gift thinking it is a burden as well, but all along not knowing that they may be the person God uses to speak Truth into my children lives once again, and they will return to their First Love as well! amen! I love you sweetheart!thank you for all of the love and encouraging words. Love you, Aunt Heidi