Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Day 31} A Lot Learned

First of all I cannot believe this is my last post in the 31 days series.
Let me just say I am amazed that I actually kept it up.
I will also say I am so happy I did.
Happy doesn't even touch what I've learned about being a Mother in these last 31 days, and the fears that come along with it.
Mothers try their hardest, and many times they are afraid, like me.
From the day these bundles of joy show up into our little world we feel such a overwhelming sense of responsibility.  
It goes on for a long time- we put so much on ourselves with all the "I wish I would haves" and the "I shouldn't haves" until we really accept that we are human beings- 
the fact that you and I make mistakes is what makes us so human, and so real.
The fact that we feel at a loss sometimes,  pulls us towards our ever loving Savior; 
who I've learned Never Let's Go.

Let me just tell you, that as an adult I still have heard my Mother regret past mistakes, my Father too- 
I have to say I know now how easy it is to make those mistakes out of fear for that precious bundle of joy you carry so close to your heart; 
I was theirs- and I understand.  

The key is I have watched my parents learn from those mistakes and because of it; I have instilled in me bits of their learned wisdom.
"And we know that in All things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
And we were all placed on this earth for His purpose.

The relationship I share with my Mother now is so different from the one we had when I was an adolescent.  I didn't want her love, I'm sure deep down I did, but I refused it- because I thought I knew it all.
It took me becoming a Mother myself to truly know how deeply she cared and loved me that whole time I shut her out of my life.  
She was so frustrated with my choices (understandably),
but there is one thing through this frustration that she never did-
She never stopped praying,
and she never stopped loving me.
The day I realized what the rejection I gave to her must have felt like 
is the day I knew she was a vital part in my life and I treasure our relationship.
Her example through the years have meant so much to me;
one day maybe I'll be able to put it into the words that are sitting at the tip of my tongue.

This has been an amazing 31 day journey; just learning how to open up and allow God to show me how I've felt about parts of my story, my prayer is that God has allowed this journey of mine to touch the peoples lives that He meant for it to.  
He has placed in me a desire to encourage others through the testimony I have kept hidden for so long, because I have been blessed by so many others who were once afraid too, and God planted in them that same desire, 
and with that desire they've obeyed, 
and they've shared, 
and because of them 
I call my life blessed! 

Thank you so much Nesting Place for Hosting! 

To view the rest of this series; 31 Days to Fear Free Mothering
Click Below: 
I am so happy you stopped by!  :) 

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